So, What Are You Into?

Gay hookup culture sure does involve a lot of us asking each other about our interests.

For a question we ask ourselves so often, we've hardly seemed to have given it much thought beyond the surface.

We're keeping it quick and efficient: tops, twinks, cock size —  the well-trodden topics and archetypes that make for a pretty superficial discourse about what should be the wonderfully deep topic of guys fucking guys.

We can take it deeper

There's so much more detail behind what gets us off that goes unnoticed and uncelebrated.

For example, tops: why do you like topping?

Is it the physical sensation? For you, is it that feeling of a nice, tight ass that gets you off?

Or could it be that basic, animal satisfaction that just comes from the act of fucking another guy? You like gripping him and thrusting and bucking. You like the thought of using him, filling him, taking him.

It could be the idea of him being at his most very vulnerable.

For some that's thrilling... empowering.

For others it's intimate and maybe even romantic. If there's monogamy in the mix, then there's the pride in knowing that it's you alone that does this for him.

Or maybe like me, you find that vicarious pleasure that comes from giving pleasure. How hard can you get him to come? What sounds can you get him to make? You like it when his body shows you just how good it feels to have you inside him.

Why not keep it simple?

We know sex is intense, particularly with hookups. Things are calmer with a steady partner, yes, but even then there's still a lot demanding our attention.

Don't come too soon. But if you don't come then that's no fun either. How close is he? Is this pace good for him, does he want to come yet? Cover your teeth, relax, don't gag... Ouch, his dick is big... you need more lube. This guy likes it rough: you should reach in and tug on a nipple. Pick up the pace — faster, deeper, he wants more.

That's not to say that sex is all some stressful, anxious ordeal. For even the most comfortable encounters, there's just plainly too much going on to take it all in.

Communication

Communication is important, and you should absolutely communicate. But there's only so much meta-conversation a guy can take while taking a dick before it starts to become a distraction.

A little too preoccupied to handle your bullshit

Then for some guys it's just simply less talk, more action! Check the basic criteria for compatibility: I want to bottom and you want to top, your body gets me going, we're both horny and available. Then let's get to it!

So, what is this?

I say there's something special to putting a spotlight on the details of what we like and why we like it. So, this is a gay sex blog.

It's musings about what gets me off.

It's reaching out empathetically into others' gay brains and picking apart what gets them off.

It's smut and dick pics, anecdotes and fiction, and maybe some psychology and physiology if you'll let me.

It's celebrating the uncelebrated.

It's exploring the answers to that ubiquitous question: So, What Are You Into?